The early days of a new relationship can be an exciting time in a person’s life. People may seem like the perfect partners during the early months of dating, and many couples ride that wave of compatibility all the way to the altar.
Though people enter relationships to enhance their lives, some partnerships become unhealthy, and may even turn abusive. The National Domestic Violence Hotline says that many abusive people appear quite calm and “normal” in the early stages of a relationship. When abuse occurs, it may catch victims off-guard.
Family and domestic violence affects an estimated 10 million people every year in the United States, according to the National Library of Medicine. As many as one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence. Abuse can trigger various emotions and outcomes, and the outward signs of abuse may not be as obvious as one might think. WebMD says it can be hard for abuse victims to see their partner’s actions for what they really are. And when emotional abuse precedes violent interactions, those on the outside of the relationship might not be aware that anything is wrong.
Although the signs of domestic violence are not the same for everyone, the following are some behaviors and early indicators a person is dealing with an abusive individual.
• Pushing for quick involvement in a relationship and coming on very strong after an initial meeting.
• Showing signs of extreme jealousy, such as accusations of an affair, or preventing a partner from going out because they might meet someone else.
• Controlling behavior that may include keeping all of the money and insisting you ask permission to do anything.
• Preventing or discouraging you from spending time with others, especially family members, peers or friends.
• Making insulting, demeaning or shaming comments, especially in front of other people.
• Blaming a partner for problems or mistakes.
• Getting easily insulted and flying off the handle when he or she is really angry.
• Expecting a partner to serve and obey at all times.
• Showcasing sudden mood swings by switching from sweet to violent in minutes.
• Intimidating a partner with threatening looks or weapons.
• Threatening to injure or kill a partner or someone else close to them.
If any of these warning signs seem familiar, it is essential to seek prompt help. Abuse is never the fault of a person who is the victim of it. In an emergency, call 9-1-1 or another emergency number. Help also is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799SAFE.
